More malarkey from the mysterious world of Holborn. Investigations into the bizarre are, as ever, haphazard, and undertaken with a great deal of ignorance of the subject. And so it is with this latest mystery…
It is rumoured (if only here) that a spectre visited Millman Street Community Centre today, and in broad daylight to boot. Was it the restless shade of some local tormented soul who passed on before their time? Or perhaps the spirit of Xmas past, present or future who’s practicing haunting local stinges ahead of the forthcoming festive season? Or is there some other spooky explanation that’s beyond our ken..?
Well, the mood of the place turned uncanny this afternoon when a strange figure materialised in Millman Street garden, before moving into the Community Centre. Startling no one, but leaving a weird residue which may be evidence of the fabled ‘ectoplasm’ – said to be left after spooky-type goings on – the shade didn’t do much, really, before departing. But was he really a ghost? Does them exist? What is the reality…?
HCA’s fearless [in fact cowardly] reporter attempted to interview the spectral visitor, forgetting to ask the obvious questions (i.e: What’s your name? What years did you live between – you know, ‘Born 1863, Died 1906’ etc ?- Why are you apparently haunting Holborn? and so forth). Instead, the disgraceful excuse for a hack asked the ghoul: what’s it like on the other side?
“The other side? What, south of the river, you mean?” came the reply. “Well, there’s not so many blue plaques in South London as Holborn,” he revealed, “And a good deal less pretentiousness than in certain parts of central London, but it’s still, you know, London, innit?”
This wasn’t quite what our quaking Fleet Street reject meant, but the fool persisted, asking what it’s like in the afterlife?
“Oh,” tutted the spectre, “You should have made the question clearer. You want to know what happens when you pass over? Is that it?”
That’s the general idea, yes. “Oh, it’s indescribable,” continued the otherwordly spirit.
Indescribable? So, not much help for writing it up in, say, a blog, then? But hang on: is it indescribable because you lack the requisite articulacy to provide details? Or because spooky types are forbidden from revealing the secrets of the afterlife to mere mortals?
“Lacking articulacy?”, he snorted. “Bleeding Cheek! Well, I’m sorry, but if that’s your attitude, you can jolly well wait to find out about the afterlife for yourself when your time comes,” he huffed, then started to fade away, muttering to himself about what a [censored] little [censored] this reporter is, what with such impertinent questions and general lack of etiquette when it comes to visiting ghouls. “Some people would welcome a guest from beyond the veil,” he grumbled, just before disappearing – for now at least. “But evidently not you, you [censored] bag of [censored, censored]…”
And with that, he was gone. As is often the case with reports compiled for HCA’s Mysteries Of Holborn series, nay-sayers scoff at the supposed evidence (or lack thereof), citing the implausibilty of the pertinent claim, and pouring scorn on the photographic verification provided. It has even been suggested that the photos are obviously perpetrated by someone who can’t use photoshop well enough to fake them convincingly. Perhaps, perhaps. But judge for yourself after viewing the slideshow below:
Well, there you have it. Or haven’t it, as the case may be. Will the spectral waster return and, if so, explain who he is/was and why he selected Holborn to put in an all-too-brief appearance? Will he be in a bit less of a huff if he does come back? Is there any significance to him turning up on Children In Need day? All of these questions and less may (or may not be) answered in due course. But for now, as usual, the mystery endures…
Next Week: The Holborn Dodecahedron (Originally The Holborn Triangle, until threat of legal action from owners of The Bermuda Triangle)
Last Week: Time Travel (Yes, I know it says this every week, but be patient: time is, after all, relative and we’ll get round to it in the end…)
With Thanks to Norman and Lucas; blurred pix and nonsense by Notes Smudger