Prepare to be amazed!* We here at Mysteries of Holborn may just have uncovered evidence of time travel. What’s that you say? Sounds like a load of old cobblers? Well, judge for yourselves…
[* prepare to be disappointed]
Your Mysteries of Holborn reporter finally got round to trying to repair the HCA Time Machine, failed miserably, but in doing so, found the photographic ‘evidence’ for the extraordinary time travel claim:
The above photograph features a bottle of milk, clearly dated 31 July. Repeat 31 July. And yet today is 26th July. How can this be? Can it be that a future four-pinta has slipped back in time five days from a future where milk is date-stamped? If so, why? Is it, in its milky way, trying to warn us about the sort of future dystopia familiar from sci-fi? A dystopia where, perhaps, milk itself is persecuted, adding a sinister edge to the currently harmless phrase ‘lactose intolerant’…?
Not convinced? Then what about this: could the following snap be proof that fears of cyborgs taking over from us skin and bone human types are justified and not merely technophobia after all…?
Is this what the unholy hybrid of man and machine will ultimately produce? And, if so, what about the obvious mobility issues? Or, perhaps, is the above (and following) photo future warning of what couch potatoes will evolve into…?
Still not convinced? Then maybe this one will send a chill up your spine: Is this next photo proof that in future, invisibility will become commonplace? Even in politics? If so, aren’t the blighters tricky enough nowadays, when we can still see ’em? Lord knows what they’ll get up to if they’re kitted out in invisibility cloaks…
Sceptics may scoff at these photos, and mock the ideas espoused within this article. Aah, but who can truly see the future, hmm? Nostradamus? Maybe, but writing your prognostications in an mysterious, obfuscating manner that’s open to interpretation isn’t proof of precognition, either. So there.
Your HCA hack is prepared to expose himself to ridicule [yet more? – HCA Bosses] when he, right here, right now, predicts all six of tonight’s lottery numbers. His prediction is:
6, 13, 21, 38, 52 and 58.
If he’s wrong, feel free to chortle at his foolishness. If he’s right and wins, he’ll thumb his nose at his [many] detractors from the safety of his luxurious new gaff in the Tropical Paradise Islands…
Timeless nonsense by Notes Smudger