#Yeti in Holborn?#Mysteries of Holborn

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‘Yeti’ footprints: proof if proof be proof-ful of size 9+ plates of meat…

You may have seen news reports in the national media which claim that an Indian Army unit recently on maneouvres in Nepal have found footprints purported to have been left by a Yeti, the mythical Abominable Snowman of the Himalayas.  You may also have seen that others have scoffed heartily at the photos produced as ‘evidence’.

All around the world there are legends of hairy creatures such as Yetis in Nepal, and Bigfoots (Bigfeet?) in North America, Bunyips in Australia, and so on.  There have been many such supposed sightings of over the years, and an equal amount of scorn poured on such reports.

Well, of course such reports are nonsense; the very idea that huge, hirsuite animals have been able to roam freely around the Himalayas and remain unknown to humanity for years – nay, centuries – is preposterous.

And that’s because the truth [*] is that said Yeti is not a Yeti at all, but actually a mysterious thingummy that inhabits Holborn.  Yes, that’s right: Holborn.

Now, for the first time, we at Mysteries of Holborn can reveal that the so-called ‘Yeti’ is in fact [*] native to that area of central London (or ‘Midtown’ as it is now trendy to call it) which falls within the ill-defined geographical area known as the Holborn Dodecahedron.

Indeed, there have been a number of sightings in the area, verified by locals (often after the pubs have chucked out, admittedly), of a slowly shambling creature with feet perhaps bigger than size 9, that utters guttural cries and grumbles, according to one ear-witness, in the manner of men in middle-age.

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Holborn: a Yeti’s habitat…?

Ahem.  As such, the ‘Abominable Middle-Aged Slow Man’ (as it is known locally) is regularly glimpsed around Millman Street, and even some photographic evidence exists in the Mysteries of Holborn archives, which, though controversial, would seem to prove (if proof were proof-ful) that it is real and is in no way made-up in a feeble attempt to cash in on a here-today gone-tomorrow minor news story, nor to pad out an otherwise threadbare article for a blog whose readership is, though discerning, pitifully small.

Anyhoo.  You must judge for yourself.  Alas, the Mysteries of Holborn archives wouldn’t let this reporter use its photos of the Abominable Middle-Aged Slow Man itself, but did allow the cack-handed scribe to take badly-shot snaps of its footprints.

And so, in an Arthur C Clarke’s Mysterious World– type expose, your HCA hack presents said photos:

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Plaster cast of mysterious footprint..?

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More plaster cast(s) of mysterious footprint..?

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Abominable Middle-Aged Slow Man’s footwear…?

 

 

 

 

So, proof if proof be proof-ful?  Erm…As ever, Holborn’s residents will make their own determination, based on the irrefutable evidence [*] presented herein.

Notes’ Note: [*]= words like ‘truth’, ‘facts’ and ‘irrefutable’ – used with evident free abandon in this article – are included merely as guidance in the hope of establishing the veracity of the topic under discussion.

Nonsense by Notes Smudger

 

This entry was posted in arts, Comedy, community, creative writing, Culture, Fun, Holborn, London, Nonsense, Therapeutic, Uncategorized, Well-being and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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